To improve your self-confidence and help you build healthy, sustainable long-term relationships, it’s crucial to remember that your typical good judgment is impaired during the exciting and early stages of getting and dating to know someone new.
According to research conducted by the Wellcome Department of Imaging Neuroscience at the University College London, when both women and men are caught up in the initial passionate phase of falling in love, overlapping activity throughout various parts of the human brain causes them to ignore negative emotions as it simultaneously impairs their ability to make solid social judgments about their new love interest.
In order to do that, it’s helpful to keep some helpful hints on hand and glance back at them from time to time. Here are five seriously important pieces of relationship advice both women and men ignore way too often when they’re caught up in the chemical rush that comes along with falling in love.
In other words, no matter how much relationship advice you’ve memorized by heart, your brain’s chemistry is wired to make you throw it out the window and go gaga for that new guy or girl.
1. Take it slow and avoid making major decisions too early.
If a parent tries forcing their own agenda or attempts to rush the bond, an insecure attachment forms, setting a stage for instability and relationship problems throughout the child’s life. By learning to be slow and patient with ourselves, we learn to be slow and patient as we form a romantic relationship.
The act of making a commitment does nothing to guarantee sustainable love, so when you rush into a major decision, you simply create a complex mess you’ll need to deal with cleaning up in the future. People rush into commitments based on the fear of losing these fleeting feelings of bliss, and as they say, fear is the opposite of love.
Making any type of major commitment, including marriage, cohabitation, and a having a baby, when you’re still in the early stages of a relationship is unwise. When that intoxicating mix of hormones is running through your body, you simply can not rely on your own judgment about such serious decisions. Instead, you must play the role of a sober parent setting boundaries for their immature child (i.e., you).
2. Remain true to yourself and always speak your truth.
When people fall in love, they often sell out some aspects of themselves in order to become their partner’s ideal. Doing this leads to resentment over time, because true love is based on each person encouraging the other to become the highest version of themselves and letting whatever happens over the course of that process happen.
By speaking your truth, you have a greater chance of being loved authentically because you can rest assured knowing the other person loves who you for who you really are and not for some fake, idealized version of yourself. When you each see each other and let each other be seen as you really are, you find love that is real and built to last.
3. Be friends.
They don’t place demands on each other to meet each other’s needs the same way casual partners do. When something goes awry in romance, friendship is the insurance policy that can hold it together until the problem is repaired.
Respect, more than anything, is needed in relationships, and that is a tenant of true friendship. If you quickly hop into bed with someone, you miss an opportunity to find out if you truly respect them, and if you later discover that you don’t, you’re likely to feel angry with yourself and in that anger, your self-esteem suffers.
When a physical attraction exists between two people, they often skip over important steps of healthy relationship development. In order to have long-lasting love within which you are able to grow into your highest self, you must, at your core, be friends.
4. Keep your outside interests and relationships alive.
Young, naïve lovers tend to let everything else in their lives go when they are in love. Due to the exciting love hormones, the initial passion you feel may last for two to three years, and it’s natural that while it does, you’ll want to spend as much time as possible with your new love interest.
Other facets of your life are meant to keep you balanced and whole. When two complete individuals join together can they have something real, only. You need to be well-rounded and balanced yourself if you are seeking your other half.
5. Pay attention to red flags.
You can love another if you love one person. Your love is not dependent on any one person in particular.
Red flags exist to warn us of danger or problems ahead. Your intuition acts immediately to notify you of the red flags when you meet someone new, and it’s important to pay attention to those sensations in your own body.
They have a tendency to ignore these gut instincts because they don’t want the good feelings to go away when people are falling in love. You must realize that the good feelings are your own. Because the current object of your desire goes away, they won’t go away just.
When people fall in love, they often sell out some aspects of themselves in order to become their partner’s ideal. Doing this leads to resentment over time, because true love is based on each person encouraging the other to become the highest version of themselves and letting whatever happens over the course of that process happen.
Young, naïve lovers tend to let everything else in their lives go when they are in love. Due to the exciting love hormones, the initial passion you feel may last for two to three years, and it’s natural that while it does, you’ll want to spend as much time as possible with your new love interest. When people are falling in love, they have a tendency to ignore these gut instincts because they don’t want the good feelings to go away.